Why Sleep Hygiene Doesn’t Work for Insomnia (and What to Do Instead)
If you struggle with sleep, you’ve probably been versed on the importance of sleep hygiene—a set of rules designed to support sleep. This advice is everywhere, from doctors to Google, and is often treated as a cornerstone for helping insomnia. You hear that if you are not keeping a strict bedtime, avoiding screens at night, or only using your bed for sleep (and intimacy), then you’re doing it all wrong. For many people though, especially chronic insomniacs, sleep hygiene doesn’t work. Spoiler alert: it can actually make things worse by increasing anxiety around sleep.
This was the case for me. When I was dealing with insomnia, I followed all the rules. I avoided caffeine, got out of bed after 20 minutes if I couldn’t sleep, and forced myself into a strict bedtime routine. Instead of helping, these rules just made me feel more trapped in obsession with needing to do everything “right” while my sleep continued to deteriorate. The issue? Insomnia isn’t a problem you solve by controlling sleep—it’s a problem of fearing wakefulness. Yet, because sleep hygiene advice is so pervasive, I tried to follow those rules for years.
I’m going to break down each sleep hygiene recommendation below, why they can backfire, and what to do instead. This is the information I wish I knew when I was stuck in the insomnia cycle.
Sleep hygiene rule #1: Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day.
At face value, this sounds reasonable - in order to stabilize sleep, try to keep bed and wake time consistent. When further unpacked though, this rule fails to factor in how anxiety-inducing it can be for insomniacs to try to go to bed when they’re not feeling sleepy.
At the root of insomnia is a conditioned fear about being awake at night. When you are forcing yourself to go to bed at the same time every night, it creates sleep pressure. Pressure then feeds into the fear and before you know it you are feeling tired but wired, as if you just took a shot of adrenaline the moment your head hit the pillow. For me, trying to go to bed at the same time only created more stress - as soon as I perceived signs that I was not falling asleep soon enough, anxiety would strike again. I became hypervigilant for any signs that I wasn’t close to falling asleep.
What to do instead: Go to bed when you feel like it or when you feel sleepy rather than trying to force a specific beditme. As for wake up time, this is where you do actually want to keep it consistent. Why? Our bodies have sleep drive, which is like hunger for sleep. The longer we are awake, the higher our sleep drive. By keeping our wake up time relatively consistent, we can control sleep drive without creating more pressure.
Sleep hygiene rule #2: Use the bed only for sleep & intimacy
Of all the sleep hygiene rules, this one was the most anxiety-inducing for me. The idea behind this rule is that the bed should only be associated with sleep and relaxation, which is why sleep hygiene advises getting out of bed if you're awake for more than 20 minutes. For me, this was a recipe for an unintended solo game of bedtime musical chairs.
This rule misses the point - the real issue is not the bed itself, it’s the fear of being awake at night that gets conditioned after torturous nights spend awake in bed. Forcing yourself out of bed doesn’t necessarily break that fear—it can actually create more stress, making sleep feel even more elusive. It can go against what is most comfortable and enjoyable in the moment.
What to do instead: If it feels more relaxing to lay in bed than get out of bed, allow yourself the freedom to do that. There is no need to create more resistance, or make insomnia recovery more difficult than it has to be.
For me, once learned that being in my bed awake was not the issue, it brought relief. Some nights I just wanted to put on a podcast and enjoy the comfort of my bed as best I could, whether I slept much or not. Overcoming insomnia isn’t about rigid rules—it’s about reducing the fear of wakefulness and giving yourself more freedom, not less.
Sleep hygiene rule #3: Turn off electronic devices before bed
At face value, this also seems like sensible advice. Our lives are increasingly spent on screens, and that can’t be great for our sleep, right? Usually the reasoning behind shutting off electronics before bed is to help your nervous system and brain wind down with some screen-free time, and to not disrupt your circadian rhythm with blue light. Blue light exposure can lead to suppressed melatonin, one of the main hormones implicated in sleep. So, what is wrong with this seemingly sensible sleep tip?
Mainstream sleep hygiene advice groups all electronic use together, but they don’t impact us equally. Scrolling gives us quick dopamine hits, which signal feelings of pleasure. These cheap thrills are at the mercy of the algorithm, prompting us to seek out more and more instant gratification. Rather than promoting relaxation, research shows that excessive scrolling leads to the opposite - doomscrolling, (scrolling through bad news which there is no shortage of lately), in particular is linked to anxiety and higher stress. Second-screening, when you are on your phone while watching something on your laptop or tv, is associated with greater risk of anxiety and depression.
It’s hard not to resist the urge to google all the cast members’ entire life histories of your favorite show. As an article in Stanford Health states though, ‘neural networks weren’t designed for such a constant barrage of information.’
By contrast, watching tv or listening to a podcast doesn’t hijack our dopamine system the same way (so long as we’re not second-screening). Once you control for blue light exposure with an app or blue light blocking glasses, TV, podcasts, or other passive, screen-based activities can be relaxing. In fact, studies of over 1200 participants found that watching even a 10-minute Youtube video of their choosing was more meaningful and enjoyable for them than scrolling
What to do instead: Allow yourself the freedom to watch something or listen to a podcast if you find it calming or enjoyable. At the height of my insomnia, once I learned about Acceptance & Commitment therapy, I started watching tv in my bed in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I was regularly committing the ultimate sleep hygiene faux pas, and surprise - it brought me relief. It also felt self-compassionate to allow myself the option of watching a show, or listening to a podcast in bed.
I still tried to give my nervous system and brain time to wind down with some screen free time, but I also didn’t deprive myself if I really wanted to watch a show or movie at night after some screen-free activities.
Sleep hygiene rule #4: lifestyle changes
It’s common sense that living a healthy lifestyle supports better sleep . Usually traditional sleep hygiene lifestyle changes come with a lot of rules though: no caffeine after 12 pm, don’t exercise too late, get out in daylight every morning, etc.
When you feel you are part of the walking dead whilst flooded with adrenaline-fueled anxiety, these rules can just feel like new ways to fail. What’s more, especially if you are neurodivergent or have obsessive tendencies, these suggestions can have the opposite of their intended effect. They can become new things to obsess over, and control, in an effort to heal insomnia. Insomnia recovery works the opposite way - it’s about letting go of control. These rules often just become sleep efforts. Sleep efforts are anything you do do try to get to sleep. It puts the locus of control outside of yourself onto an external rule, ritual, or substance (like a supplement) when sleep is really an internal, passive process. This can then feed into the fear, rather than help you work through it.
In my own experience, these rules gave me a headache. I just had more questions. What if I drank caffeine at 12:30 pm? What if I don’t get daylight every morning? What if I like exercising at 8 pm? I was not sure to what degree not following these rules would impact my sleep. It made me feel like I needed some kind of formula. If I had 1 cup of green tea at 12:35 pm knowing it would negatively impact my sleep that particular night by exactly 2% that would be helpful to know. Of course, that’s not how real life works. Do you want to know what impacted my insomnia the most out of all these rules? Feeling like I had to follow them all in the first place.
What to do instead: If it feels like a rule you really don’t want to follow, you probably don’t have to. Healthy lifestyle shifts can support the nervous system, and should be explored, but they don’t get to the root of healing chronic insomnia.
When my insomnia was at its worst I mostly avoided alcohol and I swapped coffee for tea. I exercised when I felt like it, but I found that doing very high intensity workouts at any time of the day was too taxing on my body. I came to these modifications through some experimentation. Everyone is different. Some folks get so much joy from a weekend adult beverage or two that giving them up would feel like they are giving insomnia more power. When I support my clients, I take it case by case and modify their lifestyle depending on their needs and values.
If you take anything away from this, I hope it’s this: You don’t have to follow rigid sleep rules to overcome insomnia. The real problem is the anxiety that can build up when you believe you have to follow a certain set of rules to sleep properly.
That’s why my approach to insomnia isn’t about strict sleep hygiene—it’s about freedom, flexibility, and reducing fear around being awake.
For many chronic insomniacs, letting go of control is the key to finally sleeping better.
If you are curious to learn more about how I help those with insomnia, feel free to contact me here. I also have a free insomnia email course you can sign up for below:
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Reference List
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2020, March 31). Module 2: The Color of the Light Affects Circadian Rhythms. National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/work-hour-training-for-nurses/longhours/mod2/20.html
Newport Institute. (n.d.). 8 Danger Signs of Zombie Scrolling and How to Protect Yourself. Retrieved from https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/mental-health/zombie_scrolling/
Davis, N. (2022, September 6). Doomscrolling linked to poor physical and mental health, study finds. The Guardian. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/sep/06/doomscrolling-linked-to-poor-physical-and-mental-health-study-finds
Floss, S. (2020, June 17). 2 screens aren't better than 1: Danger of media multitasking. Sanford Health News. Retrieved from: https://news.sanfordhealth.org/behavioral-health/2-screens-arent-better-than-1-danger-of-media-multitasking/
Science News. (2025, March 19). Feeling bored watching full videos? A better fix than mindless scrolling, study finds. Science.org. Retrieved from: https://www.science.org/content/article/feeling-bored-watching-full-videos-better-fix-mindless-scrolling-study-finds